What Zero Hoots DOESN’T mean

What’s going on hootless stallions,

When I rock my hootless gear, a lot of people stop me in my path. I love it. The logo is somewhat provocative. What do you have against owls?? Nothing. What does it mean? I’ve never been questioned so much from wearing a shirt or hat. At the end of the day, no one can put a finger on an actual definition, but I can tell you what it doesn’t mean.

Zero Hoots does not mean you don’t give a single f*ck about anything or anyone in the world. That would make you an incredibly shitty person.

Growing up with 3pac and after talking to the ZHG, the journey to hootlessness involves understanding when and where to give the right kind of hoots. Also, there is no black and white definition of what it means to be “hootless”. Being “hootless” means something different to every individual. Have you ever given hoots about your mom? I sure have, but unless your mom abandoned you when you were 4 and left you in a alley to be raised by a homeless crack head, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. It is possible that because we give a hoot about our mom’s authority, we feel empowered to not give a hoot? I dunno. It’s hard to say, but when I was younger and didn’t give a hoot about rules in the household and what my parents wanted me to do, I was probably giving a hoot deep down. I was probably being the biggest hoot giver in America. I decided to not give a hoot about my parents lessons because i GAVE A HOOT about how my life compared to the rich kids at my high school. That was the worst part. I didn’t give a hoot BECAUSE I actually gave the most hoots in the world!! Don’t fall into that trap.

Some people give zero hoots because they actually give the most hoots. Understand the root of the hoot.

Why don’t you give a hoot about school? Is it because you give a hoot about the bully that calls you names every Wednesday lunch? If you stopped giving a hoot about that bully, would school be alright? It’s time to dig deep folks. Take a second to ask why you don’t give zero hoots.

Funny story. I work at an amazing company, but like anywhere in the world, hoots fly around from time to time. We wear Zero Hoots apparel every Thursday (#hootlessjueves). Mind you, this is a 1000 person corporate company. Though we are pretty laid back and can wear jeans whenever we want, it is always interesting when the executives see a bunch of employees rocking shirts that say “Zero Hoots” on them. As you can imagine, they start to think their employees don’t give a single f*ck about anything and aren’t working hard. Just recently, one of the senior managers was wearin a zero hoots shirt on Thursday. An executive walked by and said “Hey *****, good to know you don’t give a hoot about anything around here!” Obviously, this exec hadn’t been blessed by the message and knowledge of zero hoots and fell into the trap of a lot of others, thinking that “Zero Hoots” means not giving a single f about anything. Thankfully we had a level 9 hootless warrior in the building. **** replied with. “No, it’s not that I don’t give a hoot about work, I don’t give a hoot about all unimportant aspects of work. Also, I can deflect the trouts.” Well that last sentence was never actually said, but I hope you get the point.

Moral of the story is being hootless does NOT mean you don’t care about the important things, like working hard, living a life full of love and gratitude or getting those fresh eggs from the corner bakery every morning. It just means you are able to distinguish between the things worth giving a hoot about and the things that are beat and not worth your time and energy.